By Clyde 'Zog' Jones - images & text © 2005

With Mars about to make it's closest approach to Earth in 60,000 years, you have to ask yourself one Question: Are "THEY" coming?

Be PREPARED if they ARE!

Now available for a limited time only, and to only a selected few individuals, a genuine copy of the Official NASA Alien repelling Device! Powered by a convenient 9 volt battery, this device is tested to be AT LEAST as effective as ANY OTHER alien repelling device on the market. With circuits to repel 7 different and discrete alien life forms (and their sub-variants) this is the A.R.D. you can't do without!

Right.

Built as a spoofer - a device that looks like it’s doing something enormously important, but NOT - this device happily flashes 7 nice aqua LEDs in a seemingly random pattern, with enough interaction so the ‘circuits’ appear to be working together. Actually, this circuit has been adjusted to give a 16 second seemingly random display - the speed is variable.

Building Your Own A.R.D.

I used a standard gadget case - part # 1593-PBK - from ALL Electronics which is small enough to be handy, large enough so as not to be a nightmare to work in, and which has both a removable ‘face’ panel on one end and a compartment for a 9 volt battery. Size? 2.6 x 3.54 x 1.1 inches. Cost? Three bucks, US.

Also needed:

• a switch (I used a teeny sub-miniature toggle switch - SMTS-4 at $1.35 from ALL is good),
• a 4060 CMOS chip (from JAMECO.com at a half a buck),
• 7 aqua LEDs, a capacitor (C_t - capacitor - 0.1 uF), and
• a few resistors (R_t - Resistor - 47 K; R_variable - 200 K).

A handy wiring diagram is included at left to make life simpler for builders, along with a drilling guide (print to size on Avery self-adhesive label stock) and an official ARD front label also to be printed on Avery stock, and covered with a layer of laminating film for durability if you desire. The ‘wiring table’ for the LEDs just shows which numbered pin on the 4060 each end of the LED goes to. This is only one of dozens of patterns you can use, but this one works quite well. Green LEDs work well too, but....

Why aqua LEDs? These day, showing any device with lots of flashing RED lights might just panic people and get the holder shot as a terrorist wanna-be. DO NOT USE RED for this one - and any and all risk of use belongs to the builder and/or user. I politely decline any responsibility for it’s use or misuse.